Emotional Intelligence

Some would say Emotional Intelligence is more important for success today than I.Q.

They are realms of different brains. The I.Q is the measurement of left brain capacity to understand mathematics and language. It has been used as a predictor for how well children would do in school.

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand feelings;your own and those of others and would be sourced in the Limbic Brain. The second important tenet would be empathy for others feelings. Beyond that would be the ability to influence others feelings to gain popularity, leadership and even interpersonal growth.

Motion means to move and the pre fix E means away from. In any case, an emotion elicits attention in the brain and causes reaction. If its danger, the emotional brain can cause the body to react before the thinking ever gets a chance.

In a way this is evolutionary. The emotional limbic brain existed before the neo cortex and after the reptilian brain. The emotional Limbic gave the reptilian more options but the emotional brain still receives stimulus before the neo cortex.

Quick response is part of the evolutionary cycle that was crucial in early species when quick movement could mean saving a life. As time evolved the limbic brain was built on top of the reptilian brain and allowed some species with more capability of evaluation.

In the new realm, you could distinguish the importance between a bear at the zoo and a bear in you back yard. As time evolved man grew the neo cortex and the pre frontal lobes of the neo cortex. Now man was capable of complex thought and analysis.

However, early development gave the amygdale of the Limbic brain the first access to stimulus received by the eyes or ears and a jump start on necessary action. Even though the pre frontal lobes receive the message and even more information from the thalamus, it still receives it after the amygdale.

In this age we might not need the emergency reactions for every day living. Now it is more important that we evaluate the emotions we are feeling and how to appropriately react. This would be the basis of Emotional Intelligence.

Sometimes before we can correct a socially inappropriate reaction, it’s out of our hands or maybe out of our mouths. We might then be reprimanding  our action as “If only I hadn’t said that”.  “Why did you have to say that?”.   “I am sorry I hurt you.”

You might want to say “I didn’t mean to say that”, but the truth is you did mean to say that but you shouldn’t have if you had an alternative agenda, like keeping the relationship or your job. It often takes the pre frontal lobes to intervene with the secondary agenda.

The ability to defer gratification is a major tenet of Emotional Intelligence and some might say maturity, people skills, or social awareness.

At the core is being able to recognize what you are feeling at the moment. This gives you the opportunity to recognize it, watch it, and maybe do something about it.

Let’s say in a social situation your Amygdala recognizes a face and then the hippocampus gives you a message that you don’t like that person. Your immediate reptilian response might be to give them a dirty look or say something snide.

Upon recognizing this person, the message also goes to the frontal lobes of the neo cortex. When the emotional reaction meets the rational thinking center, the trained emotional response comes back with a message on how to handle the situation.

Considering you are at a charity ball, the proper thing to do is say something appropriate. This is emotional intelligence and deferred gratification. Maybe later in the bathroom you can tell them what you really think.

The first two recognized steps in Emotional Intelligence are recognizing a feeling and then making the appropriate response. Next in importance but crucial is the ability to recognize feelings in others and feel and react with empathy. This is what really makes us human.

Emotional Intelligence is also the marshalling of our emotions to direct our actions and achieve goals. We might call this creating inspiration or motivation to act.

In understanding others feelings we might advance to being able to influence their emotions which might make us popular or good leaders and give us interpersonal effectiveness.

Then the highest order of Emotional Intelligence is creating a life that flows. It is knowing how to focus on talents that are core competencies and shutting out distractions.

In the realm of Emotional Intelligence you might want to refer to a post I wrote:

Emotional Intelligence and Living In the Flow

I would also recommend reading Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence