Archive for Happiness
Gratitude and Giving are Happiness’s Secrets
Posted by: | CommentsThe well known line that “everyday I wake up and I am above ground, I am happy” is a good start. Life is good. If you subtract all the negative thoughts you might have, you are left with appreciation. To reverse it, the more positive thoughts you have, the less room you have for negative thoughts.
When people visit my little town in Oceanside, they always comment about how friendly people are. That has a lot to do with being close to nature and feeling very connected to the ocean. Nature makes people feel good.
When I lived in the interior, I hiked and mountain biked in the hills as often as possible which was several times a week. We feel natural when we are connected to the outdoors and get cut off from these feelings when we spend too much time indoors.
Secondly, giving is a way to open ourselves up. I have always been in the practice of handing out dollars to street people. I don’t do it for them, I do it for me. I am now actively writing for my Charity Water program because I want to keep the flow going out. I regularly give $5 to people looking to raise money for causes, just to support their efforts. They often give me $5 back.
When people need a little of your time for listening or need to borrow or if you could give someone something that would help them, your spirit is elevated. Being too judgmental and finding fault with everything, keeps your spirit dark.
I like to earn money from my enterprises but I have to admit, I also pick money up left on the ground. I put it in my can and it is all flow back to me. Good feelings, giving, and money should just keep circulating in your world. Because I give very freely, I don’t have a problem asking for favors.
I also find that my persona is trusted by others and I make acquaintances easily. When you are open and free flowing with few blocks, the world works much better. People can feel you long before they understand you.
Generosity becomes who you are and is also very becoming.
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I continue to write on behalf of the less fortunate that don’t have the choices we have. Most of our problems are first world problems like I don’t feel like cooking. In the third world they don’t have water or nutritious food. They don’t even have wood for a fire and have to collect it everyday. 
A few dollars would help provide clean water for the billion people who wake up with out it. Charity Water.org has over 6185 projects in place to help those that need us. They want to have first world problems but were born into desperate straits.
Give up a latte to help the girls and women charged with collecting the family water in buckets with long walks. Visit Writing for Water and contribute the cost of an ice cream.
The Beach is a Favorite Connection to Nature
Posted by: | CommentsThere is something calming for most people about this large body of water. When you visit the beach it is an escape. You have civilization on one side with buildings and freeways. Then you have a massive body of water that goes further than the eye can see.
In the city, you really can’t feel the ocean breezes nor bask in the sun while sitting on the silica sand. In the city, you can’t hear the pounding of the waves and watch how each one is a different dance.
The ocean allows you to mingle with Mother Nature and let her take you for a little ride while body surfing or laugh when she knocks you down. Surfers get a much different feeling for they tempt her power in a more confrontational manner. http://surfboardsoceanside.com/do-surfers-know-god/
As I sat last evening at the beach with my shirt off in the warmth at 5 p.m. feeling the breezes and listening to the sounds, I couldn’t think of a place I would rather be.
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As thankful as I am about my opportunity to enjoy beach living, I am also empathetic to the billion people who wake each morning and do not have water in their abode. In fact the girls and women are charged with gathering enough for the family during the day.
They are lucky if they can get 5 gallons. The water they collect is polluted. The whole family suffers from dysentery, cholera, and other diseases not to mention a high mortality rate for infants.
The solution is drilling and filtering. $5,000 brings a well for up to 250 people in a village, school or clinic. $1 or $5 by enough people brings water, a most basic necessity.
We need to bring the bottom up for so many reasons. We are all connected. Their suffering is our suffering on a subconscious level. With water they can spend their time going to school and enter the work force.
Their governments are often trading the country’s resources and not concerned with people at the bottom. If we don’t care, who will?
I am Writing for Water and devoting time to raising small donations to bring water. My website Kaalm Waters tells more of the story and you can contribute to my campaign for CharityWater.org.
As of January 2012, they had 6185 projects in place serving 2, 545,000 people. A small start, but yet a beginning.
Visit MyCharity.org and give a latte for water.
How to Achieve “Zone” Living
Posted by: | CommentsPeak Performance occurs, by most authors and researchers, while in “the zone”. We have to recognize that expressing our life experiences are limited by our vocabulary and secondly by the popular terms that people recognize.
What is really “Living” and what is “Peak Performance”? Imagine feeling really healthy and vibrating with energy. Imagine being free of stress, anxiety, worry, and fear of judgement. Imagine performing tasks with amazing results and without having to think about them as you go.
Being in “the zone” is a state where all distractions disappear. You are performing at the perfect state of adrenaline and brain functioning. The mind is not even involved because the brain has formed neural pathways that make accomplishing the task automatic. The mind can just sit back and enjoy.
Eliminate the stress and worry of living and life can be the same as being in the zone. Focus and practice are the key to Zone Living. You have to eliminate as many distractions as possible. You have to be focused on accomplishing tasks that you have practiced and have competence or expertise. You have to surrender to the outcome that you could succeed or fail. You can’t be consumed by the past nor worried about the future.
It can’t be done you say! I feel you. I focus on several things and have creative energy depending on how many distractions I can eliminate. I have eliminated TV, reading the news, and now watching movies on Netflix. I have more creative energy to focus on my blogs, my websites, my books, my research, and pleasure reading. I have not turned off my mind to the world. I am trying to raise money to bring water to the developing nations.
Instead of worrying about everything, I am trying to contribute all the energy I can muster to causes about which I care. I am eliminating all the distractions that would take my mind off purpose. That includes negative people.
Michael Lardon, M.D. has devoted his practice and his life to studying people performing in the zone such as professional athletes. These professional athletes are also capable of getting into the zone with their personal lives because they understand how to focus and bar distractions.
The zone produces dopamine which is our happiness chemical. Anyone not want to be happy? We are hardwired to focus and perform at our optimum. To do less creates frustration and unhappiness. You make the choice.
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Read Finding Your Zone, by Michael Lardon, M.D. He says you have to adopt 10 practices to get there. I have read them and have no argument.
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To my surfing and website creation activities I and my daughters are devoting time to raising awareness and hopefully money for the billion people who wake up with no water. When they go to collect it, it is polluted. They get sick and many babies die. Girls don’t go to school. 
My daughter, Alex, right has been to Uganda and knows how these beautiful children need our help.
We need to get people off the bottom to make it a better world. The shadow economy of people struggling like in Bangladesh is actually the fastest growing part of the world economy. Its projected to be in the trillions. They borrow each others cell phones and pay a fee. They splice into electric lines and run their appliances. They live in tin and cardboard shacks. As people become consumers, it creates jobs all over the world.
But nothing progresses without water. Its responsible for 80% of the world’s sickness. It takes more time to gather water than to collect firewood and cook.
Even a $1 or $5 helps drill a well. A well gives up to 250 people clean water. Charity Water had 6185 projects in place as of January. People are helping. Every drop is precious.
Visit http://mycharitywater.org/kaalmmediagroup
Building KaalmWaters.com
Who Said Money Was Happiness?
Posted by: | CommentsSure, I love getting a check in the mail. Maybe its an acknowledgment of something worthwhile I have produced. Achievement is a real high. The more I achieve, generally, the more checks I receive. That leaves me high for a few days and then I need to get another check. 
Happiness doesn’t need to be fleeting. Happiness is about contentment with the present circumstances.
That requires gratitude. Gratitude is real happiness because it means you are happy with things the way they are.
Building this happiness, however, might be a different track than the one you are on when you go to the office. Happiness can be the result of dopamine and serotonin being released in your brain. Happiness can be the result of feeling good from eating healthy and exercising. Happiness can be the result of expressing yourself. It can be the result of helping others and making a difference.
Going to the office takes care of Maslow’s lowest orders on the pyramid to self actualization. If you want the rocket ship ride to the top, start thinking of taking care of yourself and helping others do the same.
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I feel life has rewarded me and now I want to help others get some benefits. For some reason I have been drawn to those who have the fewest opportunities. In fact, a billion people wake up everyday and don’t even have water. Water is the beginning of life. You can live awhile without food, but in a hot climate, you cannot live long without water.
100% of contributions go to drilling and processing polluted water. When there is clean water little girls can go to school and moms can join the work force. Every drop is precious. Learn more…
My daughters and I have a campaign “Writing for Water” and 100% of the contributions go to CharityWater.org. $1 or $5 helps bring water to people who need survival before they can find happiness. Donate a cup of coffee
Building Happiness to Cope with Loneliness
Posted by: | CommentsThere are days of the year and hours during the day when people feel isolated. This happens to people when family is away or when they are not working and everyone they know is occupied doing something else.
These are the hours you are by yourself. It is very difficult to live with your thoughts in isolation. Man is a social animal. We like to get feed back. We want to throw something out and get a reaction.
I have done a little TV work and talking while looking at a red light in a camera with no audience is very difficult. You need to see faces to see if they are laughing or even doubting or getting bored.
We have five senses that need to get exercised. They tell us we are alive. The other half of our existence is our subconscious and our intuition. We don’t give these two fellas credit, but they are more responsible for our behavior than our five senses. They interpret what the five senses detect and create our reaction.
Expressing ourselves is exercising our subconscious and our connection to the world beyond those senses. We reach deep into our consciousness for our essence and our connection to both nature and the Universal intelligence Scientists often give credit for our biggest breakthroughs.
We are connected not only to all living things, but to everything. Most matter is made of just a few basic components and man shares these with all living and non living things on earth which is part of the Universe.
Hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon unite us with everything we see and sense. Water, air, earth share common components that makes us one with our surroundings. The single spec that exploded to create the Universe and the single cell that evolved to create all life have the intelligence that unite us with everything.
Time that we have to ourselves can be used to explore our connection to everything that surrounds us and even explore our expression of how we fit in. These times of seeming isolation give us an opportunity to reach out and in to reflect and enjoy how we are unique. Use the time to explore the outside and inside world and see what kind of feedback you receive.
We can love a lot of things in life.
People will come and go in our lives and the more we can understand our true essence as individuals, the more we will have to contribute to our loved ones when they return.
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Visit my Face Book page as I post photography on Beach Life plus articles on health, fitness, and happiness. I just posted a picture of a paddle boarder about to go 500 miles to raise our consciousness of the need for Clean water in undeveloped countries.There are causes that need our attention.
Why Are People Bored?
Posted by: | CommentsChallenging yourself to push the envelope and get out of your comfort zone is the best way to find excitement in life. It is easy to get trapped in routine where you fulfill your obligations but never get tested on who you are. 
We often get trapped into thinking we are our jobs. We are not. We are very special individuals put on this earth to be happy and enjoy the wonders, but often have to work in order to live.
The blessed find their passions, are good at them, and get paid for pursuing them.
There is a great tribute to a Howard Benedict, a Leucadia dentist that just passed away at the age of 67. Since he was twelve he loved the ocean and par took of both diving and surfing. He worked his way through USC dental school and then set up his practice to drill at night so he could dive and surf during the day.
Working and then hiding afterward makes life pretty boring. We have to have areas where we test who we are and express ourselves. Letting other people judge our work is a courageous step but part of the process. We love to watch others do it in the movies and may live vicariously.
Working and partying doesn’t make life more exciting, it makes it working and coping. You can’t party forever. It starts to wear you out. In the meantime, you could be building a special skill that is you. It could be work related or it could be a hobby, an art, a recreation, or a charity.
Fulfilling our obligations makes us responsible but finding out who we are and testing the limits makes life exciting. Having a coach or friend that can give feed back is helpful as we often need encouragement when we step into the vulnerable zone.
Half a Glass of Water
Posted by: | CommentsI find the task of drinking eight glasses of water a day daunting. I am not really a water drinker. But we need it to energize our bodies and I know it. However, I can walk by the cooler anytime and drink a half glass of water immediately.
A lot of people would like to write including my daughters who graduated college with English degrees. It is rather daunting because we think about what we could write about, how would we get something sensible on paper and what if someone read it?
A few years ago I started writing everyday and it just sort of comes to you. Not that I am great now, but the writing starts to flow and you don’t worry about whether you can get something on paper.
Surfing is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I even teach it and wonder whether people will get through the early stages. It takes a lot of determination. I have found the secret is just to go in every day. You learn by inches not by miles.
It is just as difficult to learn other jobs, arts, recreations, avocations and so on. We can be in awe of what it would take to get there or we can just start jumping in every day and the only commitment is to do it every day.
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If you ever had an interest in surfing you might like my posts on “how to” or my E Book on Surfing Instructions Beginner to Advanced at SurfBoardsOceanside.com
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If you would like a website like this to express your ideas, it is easy to become your own master. http://SampleOrganicWebsite.com
Waking Up Happy
Posted by: | CommentsLooking forward to each day makes life good. We have to have some routines in the morning to which we look forward. Even that first cup of coffee is a great hello. 
I like to stretch first. I like to know my back is ready for the day and finding that my lower back responds well to my various stretches is happiness. I start my day with writing some blogs and expressing myself early takes care of a few of my daily requirements.
If I had to get up a little early to do something else good for myself like a walk or quick run, I would be ahead of my day and the nasty little surprises I know could be waiting for me.
Having something else during the day that I am going to look forward to keeps my chin up. I know that I can get through my work and then into something I treasure. If you don’t have it, create it.
Finally, at the end of my day I like to do something that builds me rather than lets me just recover by submitting my soul to the TV. An evening exercise that is physical or mental which might include hobbies, reading, listening to music, photography, gardening, cooking, or sunset gazing renews the spirit. 
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Are you into surfing? See my surf site for posts on learning, a surf book, or lessons if you are in San Diego. http:// SurfBoardsOceanside.com
Life Flows in Relation to Passions
Posted by: | CommentsFlow is the engagement in activities that you enjoy and allow you to escape your daily routine and plaguing thoughts of responsibility. A release from all that ails you.
The requirement is that it be an activity at which you practice. Practice 
requires commitment. The difficulty with commitment is that most things are not fun at the beginning, they are tiring or frustrating. You have to endure the beginning to get to the good stuff.
Commitment requires discipline. You have to have a routine in which you enter your activity, whether you feel like it or not. Some days you are eager with anticipation and some days you would prefer not.
How many things can you think of that are worthwhile that don’t require this process? You can’t graduate college without going to classes. So achievement of the things you would like to experience still require you to go through the process of commitment.
You become passionate about the things you master. Its hard to say which comes first, the passion or the mastery. Tiger Woods didn’t think about becoming number one in the world, he thought about mastering the golf shot.
If you can enter two or three of these processes, you can have a full day of doing what you like. Flow produces dopamine which is the body’s anti depressant neurotransmitter. It’s the free happiness drug. The only side affect is smiling and unbridled enthusiasm.
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Are Passion and Peak Performance Linked?
Posted by: | CommentsAnd does it matter to you? Some people have no need to be the best they can be. You can start a new endeavor at any age.
Peak Performance is for people who want to be all they can be, but it 
requires dedication and commitment to push the envelope. You push the envelope by leaving your comfort zone and practicing when you don’t really feel like practicing.
This is desire turned to will as Michael Lardon M.D. says in Finding Your Zone. Top athletes are committed to laying it all on the line. They want to find out if they are the best and we love to see who wins.
But, we can be heroes in our own worlds. Is there something we would like to try that tests our limits? I hear people say they want to write, but they don’t really want to be judged. There is nothing quicker to make you look stupid than putting pen to paper and publishing it.
We can test our limits without publishing. How about walking further each week or cooking something that makes you say you are great, to yourself. Practice makes perfect and with practice comes more enjoyment. When we engage in activities that we have practiced we can leave the world behind and enter “the zone” which is a realm of happiness.
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You can read Finding Your Zone. by Micheal Lardon, Stanford educated sports psychologist, Amazon sells it used for about $5.
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Happiness is Making Helping Others a Priority
Posted by: | CommentsIt is so easy to have a day full of challenges and problems. For most species on earth, the first order of the day is to find food and say out of someone else’s mouth. See how easy we have it already.
From the beginning man had to hunt and forage and keep warm. We have that taken care of pretty well. We have substituted jobs and fighting the line at the take out window. Some say that is a first world problem.
Let’s not take our selves too seriously. Survival has been an issue for 5 billion years. We are more civilized, advanced and cultured now. We have opportunities no species or even man has ever experienced.
Not only do we have every means of expressing ourselves, we can share our selves with others and receive what they have to offer. If we want to advance that a step, why not make helping others a priority?It doesn’t really cost us anything. It reaps a tremendous reward.
I am sure it will be a long time before lions are killing antelope and giving it to the hyenas, but that is where man is different. We can make others smile. We can make that day of survival a little easier and maybe a little happier.
If you look for opportunities to do this on a daily basis, your day becomes much better.
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Contribution is One Path to Happiness
Posted by: | CommentsContributing does not mean you have to give money. It means you have to give of yourself. It is a altruistic act even if you might be doing it for money.
Stephen Covey said that The 8th Habit is self expression and getting others to do the same. Why did he not think of this when he wrote the first 7? We evolve and find that like charity, what you put out, comes back.
The ancients said God was a perfect giving machine but didn’t receive so he needed a Universe to which he could give. Man is a perfect receiving machine. When man has received so much that he has gratitude, he decides that he wants to give back. The ancients said this is man’s purpose.
So we have the idea that man should give back and the idea that we should express ourselves and get others to do the same. Some might call this culture. The highest form of expressing our talents seems to be in the arts.
Yet, we don’t have to be masters to get started our serve our own purposes in this scheme. Acts of kindness are contribution. Giving of our expertise to someone who could use it is contribution. Expressing our selves in some form where we lay our talent on the line and allow for judgment is contribution.
Why do we have to throw it out there? Because it’s like conversation. No one hears or benefits if the words reside only in your mind. You have to throw your talents into the room and then build them to improve your contribution to the enjoyment or welfare of others.
Along the way you are evolving and risking and growing. The more developed your skills become, the more you get into flow and the happiness aspect of engaging in your activity.
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What We Learn from Near Death Experiences
Posted by: | CommentsHumans spend a lot of time worrying about the consequences of things. What happens if I run out of gas, money, food, shelter, job, clothes, jewelry, friends, marriage, health, excitement, gossip, and so on.
In near death experiences, people have reported leaving their bodies as they were flat lined and looking at the huddle of people around their body trying to bring them back. They reported seeing bright lights, hearing beautiful music, and seeing the faces of friends or passed away loved ones.
When brought back successfully, they say they spent the rest of their years trying to recapture the euphoria they experienced in the the nether world. They wanted the calm and serenity with the music and lights plus the company of those they treasured most.
When it actually comes, why isn’t death more threatening. I have experienced a few situations where I didn’t know if it was the end and I was not panicked or scared. I didn’t have a choice and I just had to wait it out.
This could demonstrate that the death experience might not be so bad and that it is life we make painful. We choose everyday to place our selves in situations that cause pain instead of trying to create a more euphoric experience while we are alive.
Think about it. We all make mistakes, but sometimes we keep making them. Eliminating the noise and adding the music is a good step to creating our bliss. The outside world is full of noise. I don’t watch TV and now and then when I look at the news, I can’t tell what year it is.
Cultures in which people eat healthy food and exercise everyday experience a life of health without disease and sickness. They flourish and live fully for over a hundred years. We have that choice.
Finances are the bane of most people’s existence these days, but we often can make that easier by living simpler. It is difficult when we are unemployed or under employed, but even then we don’t make choices that could make life more affordable.
We think we have an excuse not to pursue our passions because we have so much on our minds. We make that choice. Death will come whether we want it or not but life is still here. Living a full life that feels euphoric requires that we have passions.
Passions are experienced in our expressing ourselves. Keeping a passion in your thoughts does not give it life. It must come out and see the light of day. You must lay yourself on the line and perhaps be bold and courageous. So what if people judge you, everyone will be soon be dead.
There must be something you have always wanted to do or something you could do right now that would make your day more interesting. How about taking photos or writing your life story or creating a garden or learning how to cook like the French or speak a new language.
If you think you are too unfortunate to be deserving of happiness, you should read more stories about those who rose from nothing to greatness. Who said they had the right?
It’s a new day. This could be the day.
Happiness is More Simple
Posted by: | CommentsLife is so complicated. Even Seth Godin today said life is messy. I know very few people, even the rich ones, that are not stressed with current conditions. 
Even if you are secure in your business, the rapid fire change of innovation eliminates industries in the time that companies used to disappear.
As I do my work in the mornings I am thinking of my surfing break at 10 a.m. and my evening walk to the harbor. Then playing my music for an hour in the evenings. Those are my happiness breaks. Without them, my day would be work; even though I like my work and wouldn’t want to do anything else.
It is the pleasure breaks we look forward to that make us gratified we have them. I love to surf and commune with the ocean. I love getting better. The walks allow me to take my camera and see what I can capture at the beach.
Achievement is great, but being happy with what is in front of us is easier.
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Is Happiness More Difficult than Money?
Posted by: | CommentsAre they related? Most of us have tended to think one was a function of the other. The dated diatribe about grades, colleges, and jobs has been shown to be an illusion for gaining happiness. 
They are two different pursuits. Luckily happiness is free. Money usually has to be earned. We decide where to put our efforts. It is hard to think we are happy if we are too stressed about money. Money can over ride all other concerns.
Therefore we have to have the discipline to inject happiness into the equation. Happiness can be stolen moments or hopefully hours of pleasure. Pursuing a passion is the best way to get into flow that will deliver dopamine, our happiness chemical. If you only have an hour, maybe sex could work. Sex works because we really get into the zone. I’m not being facetious.
What ever is of great interest that is a challenge but within your capabilities can occupy all of your attention and close out the distractions of surrounding space. Health and fitness are great for keeping happiness in your thoughts all day.
Eating healthy requires continuous vigilance. Preparing for strenuous exercise takes planning for nutrition, execution, and rest. Both require discipline. Discipline gives you confidence you can achieve difficult tasks. This allows you to take bigger risks out of your comfort zone. This is courage.
Pretty soon your life is exciting because you keep challenging yourself. The more practiced you are in an activity, the more likely you will get in the zone during engagement. The zone is the home of dopamine. Happiness.
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